Biden vs. Putin Tele-Conference Transcript!

A PCS Nation Fictional Exclusive! 😃

Glitchy Joe Biden set to take on Russian President Vladimir Putin on a video conference call, right about now as we're publishing this.

If this was a boxing match, no state athletic commission in America would even sanction it, because it’s such a mismatch. It’s gonna be embarrassing AF for America. Again. 😑

White House spokesmonkey says they don't know yet if there will be a public transcript of the meeting… which means they’re waiting to see how bad Glitchy fucks up… which means there won’t be a public transcript of the meeting.

Fortunately, you have me. 😉

Aaaaand here’s how it’s gonna go…

December 7th, 2021 The White House, 10:00am EST

Joe Biden and Vladimir Putin face each other on screens from their respective offices…

Biden (mumbling): Mr. Putin, the United States of America is grave... uhh... gravel... lee... umm... deeply, yeah, deeply concerned over your military activities on the Ukraine border.

Putin: ..............………………

Biden (mumbling): Okay... Umm… Furthermore, the United States of America is gravely… no, wait… I said that already. Our intelligence agencies have reported that you’ve amassed 7,000,000 Soviet… uhh…Russian troops on the Yugoslovian border.

Putin: Ukranian.

Biden (startled): Oh, shit! Heh… I forgot you were there! Anyway. Here’s the deal… seven million troops is a whole shit heap of troops… wait a minute… one 0-two 0’s-three 0’s-four 0’s… 700,000! That’s a whole shit heap of Russian troops. It almost looks like you’re planning on invading the Ukraine. You guys aren’t planning on invading the Ukraine, are ya?

Putin: ……………………………

Biden: Because that’d be bad. And then we’d be forced to do something about it.

Putin: ……………………………

Biden: Like, something really bad… Something… Like, I don’t know… But bad.

Putin: ……………………………

Biden: C’mon, man…

Putin: You are reading script, yes?

Biden (softly): Yes.

Putin: Ukraine is not part of NATO, no?

Biden (meekly): No.

Putin: You will do nothing.

Biden (pitifully): I know…

Putin: Thank you for pipeline. Goodbye.

Putin hangs up on Biden, stands up and high-fives Xi JinPing over his desk, both men chuckling…again.