BREAKING: Ancient, Maybe Even Already Dead California Senator To Resign!

Golden State career grifters already drooling all over themselves over open senate seat!

The office of California senator Dianne Flintstone has announced that the senator will be retiring at the end of her current term, after 273 years of government service.

From humble beginnings as the daughter of a longtime quarry worker and a housewife in the town of Bedrock, Flintstone served in congress over the course of four separate centuries.

Flintstone's career highlights include signing the Declaration of Independence (1776), voting against the 13th Amendment which freed all the democrat's slaves (1865) and being the senior member of the congressional delegation that flew to Paris to greet Charles Lindbergh upon landing after his historic trans-Atlantic solo flight (1927).

No word on whether or not Sen. Flintstone is aware that she is retiring, or even alive anymore.

More on this story as it becomes available.