BREAKING: Biden Administration Trades MLB Batting Champ Aaron Judge To Russia For "Squints" From The Sandlot

Because why the faaack wouldn't they? 🙄

In a released statement former Squints teammate, Hamilton ‘Ham' Porter, said “You must be high! That four-eyed little wimp gets a sweet, lopsided trade deal from the Big Guy, AND taps Wendy Peffercorn every night?!? Faaaaack that! Your killing me, Glitchy!”

More on this bullshit but completely plausible in theory story as I think it up. 🙄