BREAKING: Chinese Spy Dwarf Update!

Stunning overnight developments! 😯

In a shocking new development, the unidentified suspected Chinese Spy Dwarf being tracked by NORAD for the past several days has moved from Wisconsin to Florida in less than 24 hours. The craft was most recently spotted at Andersen Race Park in Palmetto, Fl.

U.S. military physicists and propulsion experts are baffled as to how this vehicle, which they previously believed was only capable of a maximum speed of 3 mph, was able to transverse that distance so quickly and without being detected.

State Department representative, Lt. Col. Anne O. Neimus said, "We don't know what it is. We don't know where it came from. We don't know what it's doing. We don't know where it's going. We don't know how fast it goes. We don't know how it got from Wisconsin to Florida in less than 24 hours. That's all we know."

In a statement from the Big Guy Administration, Vice President & Border Czhore Kamala Harris said, "We are watching it closely. To see where it goes next. Because the significance of seeing where it goes next is that we can then know where to look, to see where it goes next, after that. When it goes somewhere else. Next. After that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Stay tuned! 😉