BREAKING: Flabby, Man-Tittied Ghoul Who Never Invented Anything Buys $95M In Bud Light Stock!

Queen of Beers given new lease on life!

American entrepreneur, big tech vagillionaire and arguably the most underrated intellectual property thief ever, Bill Gates, has purchased $95M worth of shares in Bud Light, potentially saving the Queen of Beers from the corporate suicide Anheuser-Busch tried to commit by naming gender-baffled freak Dylan Mulvaney as it's spokesman earlier this year.

A representative for Mr. Gates released the following statement…