BREAKING: Kremlin Releases Ill-Fated Plane's Final Transmission From Flight Data Recorder

Moscow Shocked By Unfortunate Tragedy! <snort😏>

Co-Pilot: I see trail of smoke outside window!

Pilot: Coming from engine?!

Co-Pilot: No m*****‐*****r! Coming right at us!

Pilot (on radio): Moscow Tower! This is aircraft RA-02795 flying over Tver! What goes on here?!

Moscow Tower: Hellooooo Aircraft RA-02795! This is Comrade Putin speaking. Please tell Wagner Group swine Prigozhin to enjoy last four seconds of flight. Dasvidaniya! 😃

<End Transmission>