Imaginary "Genie Wish" Interview w/ Glitchy Joe Biden!

G Fixes EEEEEEverything! 😉

The White House, December 2nd 2021

In the Oval Office, Glitchy Joe Biden sits behind the Resolute Desk, with Your Pal Glen seated in front of him…

Me: Okay, Glitchy…what do you want?

Biden (soft & feebly): You need…to get…vaccinated.

Me: Quick! What’s the capitol of San Diego!

Biden: ummm… uhhh… ummm…

Me (pointing left): LOOK! A CHIPMUNK!

Biden (looks left): Where?

Me (pointing right): Not that way ya meatbag! Over there!

Biden (looks right): I like monkeys…

Me: Yeah, me too. What was your question again?

Biden: Ummm…I didn’t have a question. I said you need…

Me (loudly): NO! NO! You did to have a question! I heard you! You asked me about San Diego or some shit like that! I have 20/20 hearing! I heard what you said!

Biden (confused AF): I just…want you…to get….vaccinated.

Me: Ohhhhhh. Is that all?

Biden: Uhhh…yes.

Me: Oh, okay. No.

Biden: Okay, good. Wait, what…

Me: No. En-Oh. No. Like “No, you cannot sniff little girls”. Or, "No, you don’t leave American citizens behind when you surrender Afghanistan to terrorists.” Or, “No, my Biden Babbling Bullshit Plan is not really paid for.” You know…..no. I’m not getting vaccinated.

Biden: ummm… uhhh…

Me (glancing past Biden): Hey! Xi! Whassup, dog? C’mon over! You know Xi Jinping, right Glitchy?

<Biden shits his pants>

Me (horrified): Ugh….are you serious, man???

Biden: It happens. I’ll just sit in it ‘til we’re done.

Me (completely appalled): Great Googly Moogly this is the awfulest thing ever!

Biden (whispering): Why is Xi Jinping here?

Me (screaming): WHAT THE FAAACK ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT?!? There’s no one here but us, you mess!

Biden: But you said…

Me: I said San Andreas!! Alabama is the damn capitol of San Andreas, and it’s all your fault!! How the faack are you president when you don’t even know basic American geometry?!?!?

Biden: ummmm…geomnicronty?

Me: Listen…this is bullshit. I don’t know why you came here to my office today, but I’m busy and I need my desk back.

Biden: ummmmmm…

Me: Umm-Umm-Umm-Blah-Blah-Blah!!! Listen to you! You’re a mess! Go on, get outta here. Be a good boy and go out on the South Lawn and play with those monkeys.

Biden: ummmm…okay.

Me: Take Putin with you. He likes monkeys, too.

<Biden has a mini-stroke>

Me: Hahahahaha!! I’m just fuckin’ with ya, Glitchy. Putin’s not here. Don’t shit yourself again.

Biden: ummmmm…

Me: GO! NOW!

Biden (meekly): Okay.

<Biden leaves the Oval Office>

<Glen slips behind the Resolute Desk, digs out the blank forms and a pen, and starts pardoning Jan. 6 Capitol trespassers…heh>