YPGMail: Early Halloween Edition!

October 9th, 2021

Dear Chuck Schumer,

This is gonna seem odd and out of the blue, but do you have any plans for Halloween?

The thing is, I have this really good idea for a 'partner' Halloween costume, and you'd be perfect for the other half of it.

I'm gonna dress up as a "Rectal Thermometer", and you can be an asshole!

That way, you don't even need to spend any money on a costume! 😃

If you have other plans that night, I understand. You seem like you'd be that old dickhead who stays home on Halloween to answer the door and thinks it's funny to grab candy out of little kids bags when they're not looking, anyway.

If you are busy, see if that idiot Eric Swalwell is free. He’d do just fine.

Not Adam Schiff, though. He’d take things too literally, and might form some “unreasonable expectations” of me about the costume concept after a few mojitos.

Either way, just let me know.

Your pal,

Glen