Complete This Story!
Nobody who's supposed to is going to. 🙄
We are never...EEEEver...in a vagillion years going to know the real story of what happened at Villa Pelosi this past weekend. Ever.
So let's get stoopid instead.
Write out the most ridiculous, silliest, most unlikely version of what might have happened Friday night among the characters involved. Add new characters in if you want. Be creative. Be outlandish. Take liberties with the "facts" as you've heard them. Change things.
Basically do exactly what Team Pelosi is doing right now! 😆
And let's see how many stories that are more plausible than theirs we can come up with. 😁
I'll go first...
DePape worked at the hardware store where Pelosi shopped and they had an argument earlier in the day, because Pelosi had a leaky line on his gas grill and wanted to just wrap some duct tape around it, and DePape told him it was unsafe and tried to sell him a new gas line for like $15, but Pelosi told him to faack off and bought the roll of duct tape.
Then later, when DePape got off work he went to Pelosi's house to tell Mrs. Pelosi what was going on and to not use the grill. That's why he was yelling "Is Nancy here!" or whatever.
Then Pelosi started lighting DePape up and called him a "meddlesome, screw-slingin', long-haired homeless-lookin' jackass with man boobs", like he's faackin' Yosemite Sam or something. Then DePape got mad and shoved Pelosi, and Pelosi tripped over the roll of duct tape, stumbled across the room and went head first through the big window that you've seen in the pics with the broken glass all around on the ground outside of it.
Then DePape went over to help Pelosi but there were big shards of glass still in the window frame and he didn't want to cut himself, so he grabbed the hammer that Pelosi got out to go fix the grill with, knocked out all the broken glass, pulled Pelosi back in, then started helping him toward the bathroom to get first aid stuff, with Pelosi's hand clutching his hand which was still holding the hammer, for balance.
That's when the cops got there.
(Production note…some of that really happened 😏)
GO!! 🤪
Depape was still pissed over the dwi incident and having to remain in the shadows. He gave Pelosi an ultimatum, either tell the world about us or it's going to get ugly. Besides, he was getting tired of playing catcher and not pitcher and wanted more autonomy in the relationship. Paul, being more afraid of the cave-dwelling vampire bat gorgon, said no way!, the blood-sucking leach will get half of everything I own! Depape, seeing a life of luxury being pulled away became enraged and clocked the geezer in the head with the nearest implement he could find.
I could not improve on your version. It completely covers all the essentials, it could easily have happened that way, and it's exactly the type of Keystone Cops antics we've come to expect from the left.